Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
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