Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
My vagina is very pro this idea
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
