I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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