Cold hands, warm shart.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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