DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
