I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
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