do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I got inside last night via doggy door
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
