He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Randomize
