I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
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