Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I can tuck mytits in my pants
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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