the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
