I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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