i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
