we're blogging at a bar
he thought i was a dude.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
