Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
How external is "for external use only"?
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Randomize
