Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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