i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
