Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
