..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
