pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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