I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
