Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
