i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
