i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
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