I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
