nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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