you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Randomize
