You can't motorboat a personality
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
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