You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
