yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
