whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
