Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
