are you still at the devil's house?
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Randomize
