It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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