Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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