now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
it hurts more in the daytime
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
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