Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Did you pee in the oven last night??
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
