somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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