Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
