Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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