girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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