I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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