You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
