that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
