There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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