He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
