AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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