I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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