why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
