jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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